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一覺元 文萃-【第十六期】你若盛開，清風自來

If You are in Full Bloom, the Gentle Breeze will Come Naturally

文：林道之(開開)

In Shenyang, northeast China, it was Mid-Autumn Festival. During a gratitude and celebration gathering, auntie (Teacher Ma Jian) asked me if I wanted to share my thoughts on spending these days with Master after everyone's performance. I hesitated: What if what I say isn't appropriate? What if it sounds too naive? What if I can't strike the right balance? What if I start crying embarrassingly halfway through my share? Then I realized, why am I always afraid of these negative "what ifs," things that haven't even happened yet? I can't remember when I started these "what ifs".

My name is Kaikai, but I do not know when I started shutting down my heart. As I "grew up," I became non-competitive, non-disruptive and being quiet and this made me different from others, I started doubting this world: is kindness really the right way? My life seemed to fall into a whirlpool, and I tried to conform to this harsh world. Doing things against my will was initially painful, but eventually, I seemed to grow numb to it. I doubted the world but forgot to doubt myself, not realizing that my desires were increasing, and so were the "what ifs": What if my salary isn't high enough? What if I don’t live as well as others. What if I'm not popular? What if, what if, what if...

The first time I saw such intense light was from the Master, yet this radiance made me fearful: What if my habits are too deep-rooted? What if my mind is not strong enough? What if I get led astray by greed, anger, and ignorance? Master told me, "What if" is a hypothesis about the outcome. Without the "cause", there will not be a corresponding "result." So there really are not any "what ifs."

Thinking back to my childhood, I did not have many wants. Naturally I will not have these frightening "what ifs" in my mind. Simply and sincerely, I could focus on being a kind and gentle child. Perhaps this is why most people are happier in their childhood. As I share my thoughts with everyone, what do I want to gain from this? What do I force myself to pursue? Actually, nothing. So, I should reopen my heart and just speak my true thoughts. Perhaps these "what ifs" have become a habit of mine, like worrying about what if I do not have the chance to meet the Master (and everyone) again? What if I do not practice Dharma well? But at least now I understand if the "cause" is built in the right way, the "result" will naturally follow.  Every “cause” brings “effect”. If you bloom, the gentle breeze will come naturally. It is more important to be grounded and pace yourself in every present moment than to worry about a future that has not yet come . This way is more effective.

Yours sincerely,

Student Kaikai

延伸閱讀：你若盛開，清風自來(中文版)

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